Finishing Well

Not many people want to talk about resigning a position. No one really wants to think about the process. In our minds, we think we have a formulated plan to leave. Today, I want to chat just a bit about leaving well. As a professional teacher and then as a youth and children's pastor I have navigated this process a few times in my career. The circumstances surrounding my transitioning were all different. There was one common thought that ruled my mind during those times and it is a thought that many forget about when faced with a transition either difficult or easy.  The thought is simply this. AM I FINISHING WELL. 

Scripture teaches us to run the race until the end. Most people will point out that the scripture is taking about life in general, but I want you to follow me with this thought. The periods of time in our life are like segments of a multi-leg race. If you do well in one station of the race and then poorly in the next it directly impacts how you begin the next section. That brings me to my point.

You begin the next season of your life or job like you finished the last one. 

I have many friends in ministry that have made a near fatal mistake of leaving a position because of anger. They leave in a violent uproar trying to inflict mass damage as they leave. What they do not realize is that when they arrive, if they arrive at another position, they will have to work through that situation again. I have worked for some great men of God. I have worked for seasoned pastor's and leaders and administrators. I have gleaned many what to do's in ministry and even more what not to do's in ministry. One thing remains I am not working for them. I am working for God and God has allowed me to be where I am and only he decides who I am.

That being said; I want you to understand that my career has had many twists and turns. I have experienced harshness, discrimination, bitterness, envy, and many other negative things from the mouths and actions of leaders. It is in those times where many get frustrated and enraged and then explode and leave a position. That is precisely what the enemy wants you to do. There has been a scripture that ruled my actions as a leader and teacher. Col 3:23 Do everything that you do as if you are doing it for God and not to please man. If you make this the keystone of your life, you will find success even in the most difficult circumstances. The mistake that so many make is undermining authority that God has placed over us for whatever timeframe he has us in at that moment. I heard recently that many time God offends our mind in order to reveal the condition of our heart. I find that to be true on so many levels. It is easy to get offended when you are corrected or something is scrutinized. But, examine your response and place it next to scripture.

So how do you finish well?

1. ALWAYS BRING HONOR TO THE LEADER/MAN OF GOD. 
I say this because most individuals who leave have a falling out or some sort of disagreement with the leader. They then try to gain support by trashing the leaders decision to disagree with them. It becomes easy then to be disgruntled and disillusioned. Then, absolutely everything the leader does never seems to measure up to your expectations. Always bring honor to the leader/man of God. In doing so, you will be finishing well. God can work things out a lot better and faster than you can. You can voice your disapproval or question the decision with the leader that made it. Not with your friends and supporters and especially not on social media. If you begin slandering and back biting your leader, you are sinning. Your leader may be completely in the wrong but if you start gossiping or slandering in any way you are just as guilty. Understand that God holds us to a higher standard as leaders. Here is one more thing that will help you. RESPECT IS GIVEN TRUST IS EARNED. Be respectful to everyone. Show respect for them as a creation of God and as a leader that God has placed there. It doesn't matter what your opinion might be of the leader and quite frankly it doesn't matter what your opinion is of the leader.  Don't speak ill of your leader. Do your best to speak of them in a positive light.

2. Develop a success plan. 
Most transitions are awkward at best. The development of a transition or success plan will help with the awkwardness. Write down and plot out what you do. Most people coming into a position will look at the way things were done previously and then mirror them to some extent and elaborate on them and make them their own. This is another area that can reveal the attitude of your heart. If you are unwilling to leave notes and plans for the next individual, why were you doing that job in the first place? Whose glory were your seeking your own or Gods? That may sound harsh, but especially in ministry we have to understand that we are in a constant progression of what God is wanting. If we are insecure in ourselves to the point of sticking it to another servant of God how can that be an attitude that God would have? Leaving a success plan shows that you truly do want the person and place to succeed and continue own to even more growth and health. Work with diligence to have things set up for the next person. EVEN IF YOU ARE ANGRY OR DISGRUNTLED. It sounds easier than it is, but if you do that even in those times you will find yourself letting go of your anger because you get back in touch with the real reason why you do what you do.

3. Pray
I know it sounds cliche but it is the most important thing you can do. Prayer will bring to light so many things. It can give you peace in your heart when you are troubled. It can ease anger. It can change perspective. Pray for your leader. Pray for your family and those that have connected with you as you have served. Pray for the future and for the next person that comes to be able to do more than you.

4. Don't laugh at failure. 
If you drive and see an accident on the other side of the highway, what is the normal response? You rubberneck to try to see what happened. In transition, you can do the same thing. Be careful not to rejoice in the suffering of others. There will be times you will see your replacement fail. Satan's quick attack is then to make you become prideful and fall prey to the attitude of they deserved it. I cannot tell you how devastating this is. I have watched as colleagues in ministry and in education laugh as their program failed. Then they became enraged at me because I suggested that perhaps if the predecessor had spent a little more time and invested a bit more in the transition it would not have failed. Our main goal should be to develop ministries  and positions that will last and be there and flourishing long after we are gone and forgotten about.

These four things have helped me so much as I have transitioned. Have I done them all with superior skill? Nope. Have I totally blew it in some? Yep. But, the desire of my heart is to please the Lord and bring honor to the man of God. I can do that. I can do that in the things I do and say. I can do that by the things I DON'T SAY as well. Finish well my friends. Please God in all you do. God Bless

4 Ways To Have A Humble Attitude

This morning I was reading an article on the attitude of humility that leaders should possess. Many people have seen the arrogant and self centered leader before. Most people don't care for the arrogant. The self centered leader will only allow certain people whom he or she deems worthy to have access to them. It makes for a very difficult relationship for everyone except those who have attained the audience.

As I read the article this morning by Tommy Barnett, I was impressed with what I saw. You see if anyone could be arrogant it is Pastor Tommy Barnett. He pastored a mega church, founded a Dream Center movement that swept the US and worldwide and has several other accolades that he could tout. Here are the 4 ways that he says to foster a humble attitude as a leader.

1. Come up with a series of phrases or comments that you can use in different situations to indicate you are nothing special or that your action deserves no special recognition.  
These phrases like "It would be my pleasure." I would love to help you with that." are self effacing phrases that show you place a value on people first and not your own agenda.

This struck me as I read it. For many leaders especially pastors, we have a problem sometimes with getting so hung up in our own agendas and fulfillment of our vision that we forget exactly why we are in the ministry in the first place. We are there for the people not an organization. The organization is supposed to be an avenue of help to people. Many times we get it backwards.

2. Get together with other co-workers, family, friends and groups with the sole intent of listening to what is going on with them. 
I recently was in a room of one uppers. You know the types of individuals that whatever has happened to you, they have had something ten times worse happen to them. It almost drove me crazy. We started talking about a guys sprained ankle and as others chimed in, the list of aches and pains was finally one upped by someone who had their back broken in three places and a major concussion along with the death of their cat. No joke.

As leaders, we have to stop and listen and not jump into I am going to be relevant mode and tell you why I am relevant to your situation that you just shared. What we are saying is that your situation or circumstance in nothing compared to mine. That kills the relationship value of the individual sharing. It makes them feel as though they cannot measure up. So leaders, in the words of Tommy Barnett. "put your own litany aside and listen"

3. Contact someone you had a disagreement with and admit you were WRONG.
No one likes being wrong, but a great leader will admit when they have made a mistake. What that does for the individuals you are working with and leading, is it lets them know you are human and you have the integrity in both positive and negative situations. Many leaders think that admitting mistakes makes them look weak but the opposite is true. Doing this also sharpens you because people will ask you to explain why. If you can;t explain why, should you do it in the first place?

4. Go out of your way to thank others for what they have done. 
The tragic flaw of many leaders is they don't affirm people. I have worked for some leaders who were excellent at this and I have worked for some that were not so good. Leaders usually will be quick to admit that affirmation is not their strong suit. What I would say to those leaders who openly admit that is it's time to get that suit out and wear it. Affirmation can be learned and it is vital to the success of an organization and a healthy life and family. Pastors and leaders alike hear a majority of negative but when they actually practice the positive affirmation of others, they are saying that they value the positive as much as correcting the negative.

James tells us to humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord and he will lift us up. Isn't that what it is all about. Being with the Lord. In Mark we read that Jesus chose the disciples to Be with Him and to preach the gospel. It is when we make it a habit of being with the Lord that we can actually preach with the fervency the world needs.

Just A Matter Of Time

It is amazing to me how busy things can get in my life. Between being a husband, father, and minister my calendar can look like a schematic to an aircraft carrier on some days. But, I am still able to accomplish the tasks that need to be done. As I talk with people, I hear about the busyness of their lives and how they cannot possibly add one more thing like going to church or volunteering to their schedule. I watch as parents become slaves to a students social schedule. It seems their is never any time just to pause and listen.

When we read scripture, if you have found the time to do that, we find a man named David. He was called a man after God's own heart. He was by no means perfect by the worlds standards but something made him worthy of that title. It was not his good looks or his skill on the battlefield that held him in high regard with the most high. It was not his full social calendar that brought him such clout with the heavenly father. It was one thing. His desire to be alone with God away from the noise of the world, thats what made him stand above the rest. He writes Psalms 91 with that in mind. 

Psalm 91

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

We have to come to the realization that a busy schedule does not mean a successful life. It means that we have a busy life. There is extreme value in asking yourself the question Is what I am doing bringing glory to God or separating me from him by taking another chunk of my time?

The enemy attacks in many ways. As we study scripture, you see a pattern. God blesses, we are content, we become discontent, Satan creates busyness, we lose our focus, Satan destroys our relationship with God.

We must look at our life and understand that God wants our time. The realm of time does not apply to God. He will justify the time that we spend with him if we allow him to. When we allow him to order our time, we will find that we have more time to use. 

Dare To Ask Why

Are you afraid of asking why? 

One of the hardest questionsthat most people can ask themselves is why? As a parent, I give my kids instructions and inevidably they ask me why. I find myself getting a little annoyed and the sound of my mothers voice plays in my head saying "Because I said so". But, I have to remember the power that question has. No honestly sometimes my kids are just trying to express dislike about my instructions but more times than not they are seeking an explaination. If I explain it to them, they will process it and hopefull put it into practice in their lives. If I cannot explain why, is it a valid instruction or something else. 

In our lives, we should ask ourselves the question why. I heard a story of a woman who constantly cut the end off of a ham when she cooked it in the oven. One day while her mother came over she prepared the ham and cut the end off. The woman was taken back by the mother asking why she cut the end off the ham. The woman replied that her mother had always cut the end off the ham. The mom laughed and told the daughter I cut the end off the ham because the pan was too small to hold the whole thing. 

Are we doing things just because thats the way we always have done them or is there a real logical purpose for what we are doing. It is not until we ask ourselves the question why that we can truly evaulate the merit of a particular habit or action. 

Churches are not exempt in this either. Many pastors and leaders will just fall into the pattern of how things have always been done. The danger in this mindset is it leads to stagnation and spiritual death. As a pastor, you are called to be a good steward not just of the finances of the church but also the energy and actions of the church. Evaluation starts with the question why do we do this. What is the benefit? What purpose does it serve? It is in honest reflection that we can geeet intune with the fresh vision and revelation of God that will bring life into the church. Dare to ask why.

Trying To Plug In

TRYING TO PLUG IN...

Maybe I am the only one who does this, but have you ever fumbled around feeling for a plugin. You can't really see where to plug in but that sudden dimming of your iPhone makes it an urgent thing to find. So you feel around and search and finally just when you think you have it...you have to flip the cord around and do it all over again.

Many people in church or to put it a little better who are not in church but used to be are going through the same thing. No, they are not trying to plug in their phones. They are trying to plug themselves in. When you attend a church for any length of time, you are encouraged to plug in. There is one question that churches have not been so good about answering. How do you plug in? Many people feel as though they should plug in but they cannot seem to find an outlet. So, they fumble around and just when they think they are about to get it, they are met with a protocol or procedure that was never explained and they have to begin again.

Sounds frustrating doesn't it. There are some very simple steps that you can take to get people plugged in.

1. Meet new people and get to know them so you can be the catalyst. 
I know. I know. You have heard it before. It is all about relationships and getting to know people. While this is no Earth shattering step, it is the most overlooked step by the modern day church. The normal way churches view individuals are in a numerical terms only at first. The greeter at the door has been coached in small talk instead of relation building and genuine interest. Ask questions that are a bit more than what they will or might fill out on an information card.

2. Make sure you know the others in your congregation so you can make an instant connection between two individuals. 
Again we see where a culture of relationship building is vital. It is difficult at first to cultivate but if you put in the time to get to know those that you are around you can help people connect personally and then it establishes a pattern of personal relationships. What does that do for the individual who wants to plug in or even just visits your church? It allows them to instantly be connected to another person instead of trying to connect to the body as a whole.

3. Don't just assume people know how to get connected. 
Be intentional about the information. If you require a probationary period, application, screening or some other prerequisite for getting involved, make sure it is readily available for people to read and make sure you and your entire church can explain why and how it relates to your vision. Also, offer times when people can ask questions about how to get involved or what opportunities are available.

4.  Set the length of time a person is committing to. 
Many people want to commit to a church and volunteer and connect. For most people they have an idea that if they volunteer they will continue to do that until Jesus comes or they die. Make sure people have an out. Imagine the thought of being 98 years old still weeding the grounds and mowing the lawn. That may sound a little out there but churches have had a bad habit of filling spots and not filling people.

5. Create a culture of honor. 
The recognition of individuals and groups of individuals are vital to people becoming plugged in. People can see the pastor and the leadership team, but who sees grandma Edna who has baked pies for sick people. Who knows about the transportation that the Sulliban family provides to 3 kids whose parents don't even attend church. What about your nursery volunteers? Are they celebrated? Everyone deserves to be honored. You must look for ways to do it. Not just once in awhile. Perpetual honoring creates long lasting volunteers and charges the atmosphere with the electricity of appreciation. Celebrate often.

There are many different things that can help people get plugged in. These were just 5 that seemed to stand out to me. Think about how you were able to plug in to a church or a community. What led you to do it? How did you keep connected? What about the negative? Have you ever just lost interest? What led to it? We have to get people plugged in. It will change their lives.