I Can Be Angry?!

Unless you have taken residence under a rock, you have probably experienced a time when an argument took place. It always seems to go that way. One person says something and then a snide sometimes cutting retort. Cue the bell. "Let's Get Ready To RUMBLE!" Back and forth the argument goes. Eventually, the argument gets you nowhere and you try to find some other way to win. Let me just start by saying this.

ARGUMENTS HAVE NO WINNERS ONLY LOSERS

Think about it. If you get into an argument with your spouse about the raising or the lowering of the toilet seat, is there a winner? If the husband relents and says sorry and then puts the seat down is it a win for the wife? Superficially yes, but what has happened in the process and progression of the argument? The husband has been compared to a child and therefor has had his manhood called into question. In the cutting remarks, the husband has also brought up the fact that his wife is just as guilty of offenses. Has anyone really benefitted? The answer is no. So, does this mean we don't ever say anything? Not at all but remember.

DISCERNMENT AND DISCUSSION DEFUSES ARGUMENTS

If we stop for a moment and avoid the red button, we can come away from a disagreement or just a mental slip with something that is truly great. UNDERSTANDING AND FORGIVENESS.

The toilet seat controversy or the toilet paper direction conflict are minor. What about the big deals? Those things that lead to more than just inconvenience that take your breath away and sidebar all rational thought. Does this still work? Yes it does. Scripture tells us that in our anger we should not sin. That is such a relief to me. I can be angry. It is easy for us to take anger to a whole new level. Anger builds like mineral deposits on shower heads.

If we don't discuss it, it will mark us and other people.

Shower heads become discolored first. We see a slight whitening. We are the same way. When we become angry and don't discuss it and just let it roll on past, we become slightly whitened. What do I mean? Your opinion changes about the person you are angry towards. You look at them and justify in yourself that you have done nothing wrong and are cleaner than they are. You take on self-righteousness.

No one wants to believe that but you can check it. Think about someone you were angry with. After the initial offense did everything they did seem to bother you? Could you find the good in them? That's self-righteousness.

The build up continues. 

It could be days, weeks, or even years before you can actually admit it and see the amount of build up that has occurred. Every interaction you have with that individual leads to more build up. The interesting part is that you find yourself interacting with them more. Why? Because your flesh wants revenge or retribution. You will alter your patterns just so you can be there to watch them crash and burn. When they succeed, you will justify why they did and at whose expense they did succeed.

Eventually you blow up. 

So the scale that builds up eventually leads to blockage and ultimately failure. It is an interesting parallel. The more blockage the less water. Streams of living water are supposed to be flowing out of us and the more we allow the anger to build the less of that water comes out. The flow begins to lessen and then ultimately stops. Pressure begins to build and then suddenly failure.

Cleanse the scale and let the water flow. 

The anger that we experience is natural, but the solution for the anger cannot be a fleshly one or we get those results. If we discern the offense and then go to that person and discuss it with the intent of making it right not winning, we find ourself removing scale and flowing with living water free from deposits of doubt, anger, insecurity, or fear. Handle things the right way. Matthew 18 gives the formula for the proper way to deal with offense. Use it and watch how things change.