The Big Con

Several Sundays ago I taught on one of the Assemblies of God's fundamental truths. The topic was sanctification. As we began the talk, I was very surprised that not many if any students really understood what it actually was. The topic kind of took a rabbit trail. We ended up talking about what the biggest battle was for young men and women as it pertained to sanctification. This is what they came up with. "The biggest battle for guys is lust." "The biggest battle for women is the want to be loved." As we talked about these agreed upon statements, several of the students came to an epiphany. These two things are related. I allowed them to talk this out.

We began to talk about how Satan uses the eyes in men and the mind in women to play them against each other, when in the context of a marriage the yearning after your spouse and the affirmation of love are good, outside of that they lead to ungodliness. Think about this. When you get involved in a relationship outside of the confines of marriage, physical attraction can often lead to mental manipulation. Guys tell girls what they want to hear. Girls dress provocatively to get a guy. They use the natural visual wiring to hook the guys. The guys use the words "i love you" to basically melt the mind of the young lady.

This game of cat and mouse aka flirting leads to emotional investment and that investment leads to a girls mind being clouded. The boy's mind is consumed with lust and yearn for physical gratification. At first it starts out with small touch and then goes further until basically the boundaries are quieted. The want to be loved will drive a young lady to the arms of an abuser who tells her he loves her and then tells her she deserves the mistreatment. The lustful desires will lead a young man to the point of manipulation of a young lady just to get what he wants.

Sadly the breakdown of these areas are done so inconspicuously that often times the involved persons don't even realize they are compromising. When the realization happens the person is full of remorse and guilt. The vicious cycle continues until the people involved break the cycle. Dating in general leads to emotional investment. Before a couple should even consider dating they need to be ready to be married. They date for that specific reason. Casual dating leads to minute pieces of the heart being flaked away and morality getting attacked.

I know this may sound very strange to some of you reading, but think of the difference this would make in relationships and marriages specifically. When you kiss your spouse and you know her past, do you compare or wonder how you stacked up to the other guy. In intimate moments that should be sacred between you and your spouse do you find your mind wondering if this moment had ever happened with someone else. Prayerfully not, but in many cases this questioning leads to a very dysfunctional intimate area. In many cases it leads to mistrust and doubt. Satan attacks very stealthily. He chips away at morality until he can blur or etch it to make it obscure.

Sanctification is ongoing and it is what God asks us to do. Change the very way we think. We will see families and marriages renewed if we just practice this one area more than just expecting it to work itself out alone. Our relationships can be bigger than our imagination. Will we let them?